Founds Family Brewery

I am Chief of Creative Design for the Founds Family Brewery. This might be more impressive if the company did not brew in a ramshackle still that my brother soldered out of reclaimed industrial debris . . . or if it was, say, an actual company.

So far, the Founds Family Brewery has consisted of my brother brewing delicious beer, me designing animal-themed labels that look like children’s book characters, and the vice presidents (my siblings and my husband) working diligently to drink the beer.

If you are lucky enough to know a Founds, you will enjoy sampling Hopopotomus, Stoutosaurus, Browntasaurus, Pale Narwhale, and whatever we think of next.

If you are a hipster who would enjoy promoting a non-existing company, consider ordering a Founds Family Brewery tee. The dollar profit we reap on each shirt will be used to brew more beer . . . which we will then give away.

If you are a fun and dynamic individual with a keen mind for business, please consider marrying one of my siblings.

Board of Directors convenes to discuss brand strategy.